i have to decide, whether is it the truth i'm speaking? or am i just merely trying to convince myself.
what do you think?
what do you think?
blogged at 1:40 AM
Friday, August 01, 2008
well i guess never say never - me who used to be anti-mac bought a macbook in the end. and i'm truly loving it. just that knowing myself, the white will be atrociously yellow in no time. maybe i should wear gloves while using it.
2nd point: dreading sch
3rd point: manic depression
blogged at 6:28 AM
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
maybe one day you'll realise
blogged at 9:24 AM
Saturday, July 26, 2008
i think watching the dark knight was the most rigorous activity my brain did ever since A levels ended which was about 8 months ago. i'm even surprised that my attention span could last over 2 and a half hours. haha
i am so dreading for school to start it's like this gnawing feeling inside me that wont go away. i've been sleeping in the whole day and it's already 620pm. and i still feel exhausted. all the late nights are finally taking a toll on me, maybe my body is ageing. hmmm maybe being 19 aint the same as being 18. maybe i should stop coming home at 4plus am every night. but this new found freedom where i tell my mom i wont be home early and she says "have fun" and she doesnt sleep in my room to check the time i come back, i'm enjoying every bit of it.
i am so dreading for school to start it's like this gnawing feeling inside me that wont go away. i've been sleeping in the whole day and it's already 620pm. and i still feel exhausted. all the late nights are finally taking a toll on me, maybe my body is ageing. hmmm maybe being 19 aint the same as being 18. maybe i should stop coming home at 4plus am every night. but this new found freedom where i tell my mom i wont be home early and she says "have fun" and she doesnt sleep in my room to check the time i come back, i'm enjoying every bit of it.
blogged at 3:16 AM
Friday, July 25, 2008
10 days to go till my life takes a huge step forward. as i come to think of it, i have no clue whatsoever on what university entails for me. was it even the right choice to study law at nus or should i have stuck to what i have always wanted, business at smu. the more i think, the more it seems like there was no choice for me at all, my parents vehemently objected the idea of smu, but i'm sure i could have put my reasoning and persuasion power to good use and opted to be a smugger.
" if you don't let me go smu, then i won't even go to uni at all. i can just accept smu's offer and decline nus's. you can't do anything you dont have my application numbers nor my pin numbers. this is what i want why do i want to do law when che did it already. why do you want 2 lawyers in the family...."
i'm sure it would have been something like that or maybe even worse. all the additional shoutings, screamings, crying from me. haha. i also think, if nus rejected me, i would definitely have gone to smu biz&acct. so in a way, once i had nus's acceptance there was no other choice. well it's a little queer that i'm having all these thoughts only now when it's definitely too late already. so well, cheers to embarking on hell mission sem 1.
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my days have indeed been good, well my car came on july 18th. everyone hates the pony sitting on my dashboard. andrew took dumbo (the stuff toy elephant) next to the erp unit and threw it all the way to the back where my cutesie turtle monk tissue case was sitting. thanks steffi and andrew for the thoughtful present.
well i thought to myself since uni is going to start soon, i must really play the hell out of the remaining week. i meet the guys everyday, the girls every alternate day. nowadays i get to come back anytime i want. i really dont know what exactly i've been doing. just a lot of coffees, a lot of ciggs, a lot of bumming, a lot of laughing. but i like days like these. nothing to worrry about and you get to spend time with your friends. there isn't anything to get angry and emotional about because i don't expect anything anymore, so i've been all peaceful with myself. which is a good thing, definitely.
the only thing that happened was the day at jon's house when pearl came to talk to me when andrew left to buy food. i was hesitant initially but michh said that i should. well maybe i was a little too harsh with her, i mean if i put myself in her position she must have been feeling scared and bad at the same time. but the thing that got to me were the kind of screwed up responses she gave. especially the last part i guess i lost it. but i mean if you wanted to talk to me, shouldnt you think about what to say at least? well andrew said that she was never good with words and all but seriously, i would rather we have not had that conversation at all. i guess i didnt mean to be that harsh and all.. but really, think of what you want to say to me first since it was you who wanted to talk to me in the first place. makes sense?
okay i should go and bathe. it's already 530 pm and i'm still in pjs. l:
" if you don't let me go smu, then i won't even go to uni at all. i can just accept smu's offer and decline nus's. you can't do anything you dont have my application numbers nor my pin numbers. this is what i want why do i want to do law when che did it already. why do you want 2 lawyers in the family...."
i'm sure it would have been something like that or maybe even worse. all the additional shoutings, screamings, crying from me. haha. i also think, if nus rejected me, i would definitely have gone to smu biz&acct. so in a way, once i had nus's acceptance there was no other choice. well it's a little queer that i'm having all these thoughts only now when it's definitely too late already. so well, cheers to embarking on hell mission sem 1.
__________________________________________________________________
my days have indeed been good, well my car came on july 18th. everyone hates the pony sitting on my dashboard. andrew took dumbo (the stuff toy elephant) next to the erp unit and threw it all the way to the back where my cutesie turtle monk tissue case was sitting. thanks steffi and andrew for the thoughtful present.
well i thought to myself since uni is going to start soon, i must really play the hell out of the remaining week. i meet the guys everyday, the girls every alternate day. nowadays i get to come back anytime i want. i really dont know what exactly i've been doing. just a lot of coffees, a lot of ciggs, a lot of bumming, a lot of laughing. but i like days like these. nothing to worrry about and you get to spend time with your friends. there isn't anything to get angry and emotional about because i don't expect anything anymore, so i've been all peaceful with myself. which is a good thing, definitely.
the only thing that happened was the day at jon's house when pearl came to talk to me when andrew left to buy food. i was hesitant initially but michh said that i should. well maybe i was a little too harsh with her, i mean if i put myself in her position she must have been feeling scared and bad at the same time. but the thing that got to me were the kind of screwed up responses she gave. especially the last part i guess i lost it. but i mean if you wanted to talk to me, shouldnt you think about what to say at least? well andrew said that she was never good with words and all but seriously, i would rather we have not had that conversation at all. i guess i didnt mean to be that harsh and all.. but really, think of what you want to say to me first since it was you who wanted to talk to me in the first place. makes sense?
okay i should go and bathe. it's already 530 pm and i'm still in pjs. l:
blogged at 2:09 AM
Sunday, July 06, 2008
say hello to the newest addition of the p-plate family. ME! hehe i passed my driving test on thurs and life changes once you get your license. well it changes even more when you get your carrrrrr. <3 <3 <3 the tester told me "very good, well done..." and it's certainly one of my proudest achievements mannn.
i had better enjoy what's left of the holidays. tomorrow going parkway with S. wow really exciting life for me hereeeee.
okay gonna head to gardens now. bye!
i had better enjoy what's left of the holidays. tomorrow going parkway with S. wow really exciting life for me hereeeee.
okay gonna head to gardens now. bye!
blogged at 10:30 AM
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
everyone knows that the truth hurts. the truth stings terribly, like rubbing salt against your wound over and over and over again, firmly and slowly. and more salt is added when you start thinking of it, again. or like making a little cut on your wrist, and you continuously cut the same spot again and again, with no caution how deep it gets. well the main point, the truth hurts. and somehow, the truth hurts more and more as the days go by even though it's supposed to go away with time.
it's scary how time flies? last november we were saying we have an 8 month holiday. now - there's less than a month left till uni starts. tomorrow i'm taking my driving test, and im terrified. there's so much pressure and i keep on thinking what if i fail.
i can safely say that my life is different now. at the end of the day, it will be the same few who stick with you, who you know will be there no matter what. because what we have is real. thank you girls, the 3 of you. i don't know what i'd do without you.
it's scary how time flies? last november we were saying we have an 8 month holiday. now - there's less than a month left till uni starts. tomorrow i'm taking my driving test, and im terrified. there's so much pressure and i keep on thinking what if i fail.
i can safely say that my life is different now. at the end of the day, it will be the same few who stick with you, who you know will be there no matter what. because what we have is real. thank you girls, the 3 of you. i don't know what i'd do without you.
blogged at 9:34 AM